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Topics - Shihoin Iname

Pages: 1
1
War of Hearts / Frozen Sea [P R A Y E R]
« on: Nov 07, 2017, 10:06AM »
Location: Ciaran's Apartment
Date: Oct 22nd
Description: Hyoukai gets tired of being patient, also Iname is a shitnugget.
Notes: Nathair is welcome to crash this and insert his own comments. This may also be extended at some point.



So, Ciaran still wasn't home. Iname wasn't sure what to make of the fact that he wasn't home, given he hadn't come home last night … or the night before either. He was trying not to worry about it, really he was. But it was hard not to because Ciaran usually would be home by now and he wasn't and- well. It wasn't like Ciaran didn't have friends. It wasn't like Iname needed to know where he was at all times. He'd come home when he was ready. Right? Right. Iname kept reminding himself of that fact, kept telling himself to stop worrying about it because that could be construed as bordering on controlling even if that wasn’t his intent. And let’s just… not. No. It was fine, he’d be home when he was ready and Iname could live with it, it wasn’t like they hadn’t been apart for longer than this before.

Except, you know, Ciaran always tells you when he's going to be gone for too long, because he knows you worry. Which means you should be worried. Hyoukai's acidic response came - falling on deaf ears, but said nonetheless.

There was a lull in which Iname curled on the couch with a book and tried to concentrate on reading it. He wasn't getting too far, and at some point gray eyes just slid out of focus and the words on paper blurred. But Iname didn't move, he made no effort to call himself back to the present or to get up and do something.

Find it, Iname. Find who you are. Kaiou’s last words from the dream came back to him, managing to engulf the majority of his attention for the moment. That was the trouble, wasn’t it? He had no idea who he was. Who was he without his brother standing beside him. Who was he without Kaiou? The reality was, he didn’t know. Well maybe if you weren’t so terrible at everything and actually did what you’re supposed to you would know who you are. You’re Shihoin Iname. But who even was that? That was kind of the problem. You’re a Shihoin, you know damn good and well who you are. Right. Shihoin Iname, second division officer. That was what was expected, that was who he was. No, you know what you are? Sad, that’s what. Hyoukai growled.

A swirl of force caught Iname's attention, drawing his gaze up in confusion. A large dragon materialized with that force, curling in on itself slightly as it formed. The main body was a deep blue in color at first glance - but if one watched, the scales shimmered with all the colors of the ocean. The horns and claws of the dragon seemed to be made of ice - as did the dragon's eyes. Along the ridge of it’s back was a swirl of icy blue - almost mimicking frozen sea-foam. Iname's expression flashed to confusion as he stared at the materialized Daemon.

"I'm just about tired of your shit, mister." Hyoukai snapped, icy gaze trained entirely on Iname, who look surprised to see the dragon there. “Yeah, remember me? Your daemon? You’ve done a stunning job at pretending you don’t.”

“What are you talking about?” Iname retorted, marking his place and setting aside the book after only a moment.

“I don’t know, the part where you haven’t really heard anything I’ve said in decades. Did you really think I was going to abandon you while your mind was literally in pieces?”

“It is not.” Iname snapped back, gray eyes flashing.

Hyoukai made a sound that may have been considered a laugh under different circumstances. “No? Spirits, is that all you’re capable of these days? Lying? To me, to Ciaran, to your mom. … To yourself. I used to expect better of you than that.” No, he really had. “And it’s honestly sad, because no one’s buying it anyway. Who are you trying to convince exactly? Even you can’t possibly actually believe that this is fine.” The dragon’s gaze intensified for a moment as he seemed to wait for Iname to respond - the Kashi didn’t, so eventually the Daemon continued instead. “And you wonder why Ciaran isn’t here. Maybe, just maybe, he’s tired of being lied to. Because you’re more of an idiot than I thought if you really believe he doesn’t know you’ve been lying about everything.”

Iname flinched just slightly as Hyoukai successfully drilled into a number of his weaknesses at once. “I’m not trying to ‘convince’ anyone.” Iname maintained firmly.

“Oh bullshit.” Hyoukai shot back instantly. “If you weren’t trying to convince anyone you wouldn’t keep repeating it because it’s obviously not true.” Or they wouldn’t be having this conversation, because if Iname was fine, Hyoukai wouldn’t have to literally materialize in order to make the Kashi recognize that he really did want to talk. The Daemon wasn’t sure he could make enough of an impression, wasn’t sure he could convince Iname he needed help on his own, but dammit, Iname had already pushed away everyone else. “You hate being alone, so why is it that you’re insisting on shoving everyone out of your life? Why is it that when they go you’re surprised?”

“I don’t hate being alone. It’s safer anyway.” Iname defended, but there was an edge to his voice that made it clear even he wasn’t sure that what he was saying was the right thing - which for the record, it wasn’t.

“Oh don’t give me that!” The dragon snarled. “You do hate being alone and you’re shitty at it too. Alone is terrible for you. But sure, convince yourself otherwise and shove Ciaran out the door, then lock it behind him and freeze the handle too. And maybe, maybe he would have been able to thaw it enough to unlock it and come back but then you jumped out the damn window too! I’m really not sure what you expected here, Iname.” Hyoukai’s head jerked slightly side to side - shaking his head. “You can lie to Ciaran and your mom, and everyone else. You can even lie to yourself, apparently. But you really aren’t convincing any of us, least of all me. This isn’t okay, it never was. And if you don’t get your shit together it never will be.”

“Why are you insisting on making this about Ciaran?”

“Why are you insisting it’s not?” Hyoukai retorted sharply. “But if you really have to ask, because he was the last person you hadn’t entirely walled out of your life. But then you went and did that too. And now it’s been two days since he’s come home. You’re doing a really crappy job of convincing yourself that there’s nothing wrong with the fact that he’s not here, but let’s be real for a second Iname, he would normally have told you if he was going to be gone this long. You and I both know that.”

The worst part was Iname really did know that. And he’d been doing a good job ignoring the half-panic that that wanted to incite but apparently Hyoukai wanted to drag that back to the surface and make him worry about it.

“Well it’s about time you worry about reality.” Hyoukai retorted coldly. “Given you’ve spent the last forever doing your damnedest not to acknowledge it at all.”

“What is that even supposed to mean?”

Hyoukai made a frustrated noise, somewhere between a growl and a groan. “You know what, I want you to meditate and join me in your inner world. We aren’t done here.” But Hyoukai couldn’t stay in this form much longer, especially not as out of touch as they were at the moment. Besides, he wanted Iname to really see what their inner world looked like, because it was kind of important.

And then Hyoukai was gone, leaving Iname slightly confused and more than a little nervous. Still, he did obey the Daemon’s request, settling himself in a comfortable position and concentrating inward until he managed to find himself in the familiar confines of his own mind. Except… it wasn’t precisely as he remembered it. In essence it was the same - a glacier that acted as a cliff overlooking the ocean. Portions of the glacier seemed to have fallen away, and there were cracks that spidered from the edges inward. Iname found himself turning in a small circle, studying what he could see of the space - Hyoukai was lounging on the ice a little way away, and seemed intent on letting Iname digest by himself first.

“Yeah, we’re a little beyond abstract metaphors here. Good to see you taking that in.” Hyoukai’s tone was not particularly amused - but it was slightly less hostile than before. “You can’t pretend this is okay anymore. You can’t pretend this is the way it’s supposed to be, because it’s not. This isn’t okay and unless you actually do something it never will be. You can’t push everyone away Iname. You can’t pretend there’s nothing wrong.”

“But I should be over this by now. It’s been two hundred years, I shouldn’t still hurt so much I can barely function.”

“Well maybe you wouldn’t if you’d actually deal with these issues instead of just burying them.” Hyoukai retorted coolly. “But you also can’t put a time limit on grieving. That’s not how emotions work. You can’t just tuck it into a corner and say okay, I should be done by now. You haven’t dealt with it, and frankly some pain never entirely goes away. Sure, you should be doing better than you are, but when they say time heals all wounds they really mean that if you express and deal with it, slowly it gets better.”

It really is pathetic that I’m not over this yet. But Iname didn’t actually say that, instead taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly. Hyoukai wasn’t going to accept that response, so Iname didn’t bother repeating it. “I don’t know how.”

“Has it ever occurred to you to say that instead of claiming you’re okay?” Hyoukai retorted. “Because claiming you’re okay to someone who can see otherwise is just damn insulting.”

It was a lot for Iname to think about, of course. But Hyoukai wasn’t going to let him keep ignoring this mess. It wasn’t going to go away on its own, and the whole house was proverbially on fire around him. Something had to give or Iname was going to find himself exactly where Seiji had, exactly where Tetsuya had. And that kind of crazy didn’t look good on anyone. It was just going to be a matter of convincing Iname he really did need help. And getting him to accept the help from the support system that was gathered all around him, just waiting for him to acknowledge it.

"We can't go on like this. You can't go on like this, Iname. At some point something has to give." This was them, hitting the point where something had to give because it just couldn't continue this way anymore. Because at some point Iname had slipped underwater and he hadn't cared. And no one could really care for him. But as it turned out, the Kashi did care, somewhere in there. Hyoukai knew that much. It was just... making him realize it too.

2
Lenara / Shihoin, Iname
« on: Oct 22, 2017, 10:57PM »
Iname is a closed book with razor blades hidden between the pages. Everything seems relatively normal, for a second division member from the surface. He doesn't have much tolerance for stupid or for time wasting. His emotions rarely seem to ruffle the surface, to the point where someone who didn't know him probably would imagine that Iname doesn't have many emotions at all - which isn't really true.

Beneath that surface that his training allows him to maintain is quite a lot of things that, frankly, even Iname doesn't entirely understand. Guilt, anger, sadness - mostly by-products of grieving that was never properly handled. He doesn't share his feelings well, and he doesn't entirely know how. He generally prefers to pretend, even with Ciaran, that he's just fine. Even though the reality of it is that all this time later, he's still living a pretty hollow existence.

He does have some pride, and there is a large part of him that is extremely embarrassed by what happened out in Asgard, it's not something he'll easily own up to, and it's not something that he'll take well to having brought up.

But he does love very deeply, for all that it takes a good bit to get him to trust anyone. And he always pays his debts. ... Even the ones no one blames him for. And, when he doesn't have his reasons for hiding, Iname does like to give back, to an extent, in Asgard, to make sure no one else has to live the way he was forced to live. But currently Asgard is off-limits as far as Iname is concerned.

And he knows, he knows he should get the hell out of Second. Will he? Ah, currently the answer is no.

Friends
Iname's friends are mostly those who have managed to stick with him through a rollercoaster of things - including actively avoiding them at times. Really it's a miracle if he has any friends. Any he does have should be patient sorts, and maybe a touch on the stubborn side. He could use someone trying to drag him back out into the open again and, you know helping remind him how to live. He's not terribly patient himself, and isn't likely to spill his life story on anyone, save perhaps Ciaran.

Enemies
A couple of the surviving Shihoins qualify as enemies. In a broader sense, the Eagles. At it's simplest - whoever his Captain tells him is his enemy, is. The joys of being Second division. ... Seriously though, Iname probably has a few personal enemies too.

Lovers
Iname is happily taken, and anyone other than Ciaran making a move on him will get a firm no the first time. ... And probably meet his daemon the second time. He loves the redheaded sword monkey. ... They'll be married, eventually. Iname even has a ring already, he's just a dork.
Shihoin Iname537 | Valhalir/Kashi/Kazan | Japanese/Sudanese | Hyoukai Valkyrie Second Division

3
Divisions / Of the Moon and the Sun
« on: Apr 25, 2017, 09:45PM »
Iname's subconscious had been telling him something. What exactly that something was, well, that was a bit murky. In some ways the dream had been very straight forward, in others... He wasn't sure he'd ever entirely make sense of it all. But it had made a few good points, like the fact that he was pushing Mameha away and that that was a really sad thing to do. She shouldn't have had to lose them both. Well it's not like you're worth anything these days anyway. Hissed the whisper of his mind that always reminded him of what was expected of him - of what he expected of himself. For the moment, Iname ignored it, concentrating on his goal here.

The best way to rectify that was, of course, jumping in and spending time with her. The idea of facing the manor so quickly after the dream of Kai was not one Iname was quite ready to entertain. It was sad, sure, but Iname wasn't ready to face the manor yet - small steps here. And tea with his mom sounded like a good place to start. So he'd decided he was going to ask Mameha to come over for tea this evening, if she had time. Iname had considered asking her out to the ninth division's tea house instead, but it was hard to say what - if anything - they'd talk about, and Iname thought some privacy was a better choice in the long run.

It occurred to Iname that he really probably should have run it by Ciaran first, but it had been almost impulsively decided at some point today, and Iname hadn't wanted to give himself enough time to back out if it. He didn't... really think Ciaran would mind though, so he was just going to hope not and go with it. He could apologize later if he turned out to be wrong. But Ciaran rarely minded things that Iname did, unless they were some level of destructive. Oh you mean like completely ignoring the fact that you're literally falling apart? That's pretty self-destructive you shitpot. ...I don't know why I bother anymore it's not like you can hear me anyway.

Iname did sense a flicker of irritation from somewhere in the depths of his mind, but didn't pay too much attention to it.

And all that was what led Iname to wander in from drills towards the end of his shift looking for Mameha. His expression was a little thoughtful, but mostly controlled. It wouldn't take long to find the Mameha flicker in the area, unless she genuinely wasn't there, so that was a bonus.

Iname was... oddly nervous. It was just his mom, he had no reason to be nervous. He just had to find her and ask and then the nerves would go away. Mameha had a way of doing that, at least for Iname. But maybe that was normal, since she was his mom. ... Well a good place to check if she wasn't outside drilling was her desk, right? Right. So Iname wandered over that way - logic said start where she was most likely to be, after all.

4
Shipper Container / Shihoin, Iname
« on: Apr 15, 2017, 02:03PM »
Iname is a closed book with razor blades hidden between the pages. Everything seems relatively normal, for an Onmitsukido member from the surface. He doesn't have much tolerance for stupid or for time wasting. His emotions rarely seem to ruffle the surface, to the point where someone who didn't know him probably would imagine that Iname doesn't have many emotions at all - which isn't really true.

Beneath that surface that Onmitsukido training allows him to maintain is quite a lot of things that, frankly, even Iname doesn't entirely understand. Guilt, anger, sadness - mostly by-products of grieving that was never properly handled. He doesn't share his feelings well, and he doesn't entirely know how. He generally prefers to pretend, even with Renji, that he's just fine. Even though the reality of it is that all this time later, he's still living a pretty hollow existence.

He does have some pride, and there is a large part of him that is extremely embarrassed by what happened out in Rukongai, it's not something he'll easily own up to, and it's not something that he'll take well to having brought up.

But he does love very deeply, for all that it takes a good bit to get him to trust anyone. And he always pays his debts. ... Even the ones no one blames him for.

And he knows, he knows he should get the hell out of Nibantai. Will he? Ah, currently the answer is no.

Friends
Iname's friends are mostly those who have managed to stick with him through a rollercoaster of things - including actively avoiding them at times. Really it's a miracle if he has any friends. Any he does have should be patient sorts, and maybe a touch on the stubborn side. He could use someone trying to drag him back out into the open again and, you know helping remind him how to live. He's not terribly patient himself, and isn't likely to spill his life story on anyone, save perhaps Renji.

Enemies
A couple of the surviving Shihoins qualify as enemies. In a broader sense, the dragons. At it's simplest - whoever his Captain tells him is his enemy, is. The joys of being Onmitsukido. ... Seriously though, Iname probably has a few personal enemies too.

Lovers
Iname is happily taken, and anyone other than Renji making a move on him will get a firm no the first time. ... And probably meet Hyoukai the second time. He loves the redheaded sword monkey. ... They'll be married, eventually.
Shihoin Iname537 | Shinigami | Sudanese-Japanese | Hyoukai Gotei (Nibantai) | Ebony Eagles

5
2015 / Upon The Sand
« on: Jul 20, 2015, 02:50AM »
This... is not Las Noches anymore.

"Um," she said, looking around at the houses and people that were definitely not Hollow or Arrancar. Or, well, where she knew the people were, because they scrambled pretty quickly when she stepped out. These were... what were they called, spirits? Something. Human souls. Why are there human souls here. Why is she here, surrounded by human souls? "Ummmm," she said again, just for good measure, because what. Last time she checked, one does not wander into the realm with the spirits. The thing. That she does not know the name of. By accident.

... and they were probably hiding because of reiatsu. Oops. Calypso never really had to reign it in before, because it'd been so strong and just the force of it incinerated weak hollows nearby but things out here were probably a bit different. Oops. Slowly, slowly, slowly she drew it in. "Sorry!" Sheepish smile. No one probably heard, but it was the thought that counted?

And. Okay. Um. Well. She was in a predicament. Because last thing she heard, Shinigami and Arrancar did not get on, and this was definitely Shinigami territory. So. Wandering back the way she came--she'd been in a desert before, and only now did she realize that was not the desert she came from. A couple days ago, there'd been a huge rumble that knocked her to her feet--an earthquake? Though she'd never experienced one in the afterlife. And light, and suddenly the landscape rearranged itself. And now, a couple days later, she was here. So. Extrapolating from that, the thing that happened probably changed the fabric of reality somehow, she just. Didn't know how.

Didn't really want to know, honestly, she was fine staying by herself where other powerful Hollows wouldn't try to harm her and the last thing she needed was to tangle with Shinigami. Apparently she'd wandered further into this than she'd realized, oh no, she really needed to pay attention to her surroundings. How had she not noticed when the sand turned to unpaved dirt roads? Ugh. Briefly, her hand touched the bone fragments that went down her spine in a long line. Thankfully, they were covered by her hair and clothing, but said clothing was still the plain white of Arrancar garb. Shit. Shiiiiit.

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