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Messages - Gage Jordan

Pages: 1 2 3 ... 15
1
Soder-Vaster / Obligatory Socialising
« on: Jan 11, 2018, 08:09PM »
Most likely, given long enough, Gage would probably spend several hours to several days, wondering what had changed. It was rare, of course, that Cyprian was mentally present enough to really register what was going on around him. That was not to say that he was always essentially catatonic, sometimes Gage got a decent amount of interaction out of him, he wouldn't have continued attempting to make this work if he didn't, but those moments seemed to filter in and then right back out of his head. Whatever he said one moment, didn't quite match what he'd said the last time the subject had come up, and subject repetition was a common occurrence, as Cyprian hardly remembered what they'd talked about and hadn't.

Today was, on several levels, a huge shift in what had become normal for them. Gage had expected another interaction that'd become typical, with Cyprian hardly retaining anything that was said, even as he responded, despite those responses not really being particularly empty. But today, he'd not only responded, and seemed aware of what he was responding with, he'd also displayed emotional reaction. Maybe somewhere along the way, Gage's calm patience had become as if a dangling, sparkling gem, showing him the way out of his own head. Would he stay? How long? Gage would be surprised if he didn't eventually go back in there and hide, and he couldn't fault him. He still didn't know what'd happened before, to make him like this, who'd hurt him so bad that he ran inside his own head, but he knew enough about trauma responses to know that was what it was.

If he did become angry, over all of this, he just remembered, it really wasn't Cyprian's fault. He had a hard time imagining he'd deserved any of it. Despite, or in spite of, maybe, the particular division Cyprian led, he wasn't a terrible person. Sometimes, his morality might be a bit shaky, to be sure, and at times, he chose to act instead of think, but it wasn't as if Gage could say anything about it. He was precisely the same.

Funny how the same traits displayed differently between people that had them.

The bill taken care of (shit, that was a financial set-back), Gage turned from the desk, finding Cyprian had followed. With his wine, thankfully, that was a rather expensive bottle of wine. "So, which 'home' are we going to?" It wasn't as if Gage minded, albeit, he stayed in the twelfth division's barracks, and maybe the vague publicity wouldn't really - because Cyprian wasn't much of a people person (neither was Gage, some days, but Cyprian really wasn't a people person), so it stood to reason, Cyprian might want somewhere less surrounded by presences. He did have to admit, even, that sometimes, he'd end up bothered by someone in his division because somebody flipped the wrong switches and screwed up ANNIE, or, someone blew something up, or... something. It was hard to say what'd go wrong today, but it wasn't rare that something did, and Gage would, inevitably, be doubly annoyed by being interrupted today. This was why they never went to his apartment.

"I stay in the division barracks, though, so, it may have to be yours, if you're just not up for people. I don't mind, either way." They could accept the possibility of being interrupted, or not, it didn't matter to him.

2
Communication / That Happened
« on: Jan 09, 2018, 09:25PM »


01
13
PM - Sat Oct 22


Anger is as blind as love








1:13 PM


75%

Kee

the talk with iname happened.
it uh. it went well.
12:19 PM

Is that sarcasm?
I mean, it seems like it'd be sarcasm, but I was hoping for a better outcome so... I gotta ask.
Sent 12:21 PM

welp.
im crashin with rory these days so that ought say somethin I guess. prolly more about my own mental state than how the conversation went, but yanno. apparently he didnt even notice he was doin' anything different. i guess this bodes well for it changing but im not really holding my breath.
12:25 PM

You guys aren't doing something stupid and breaking up, are you?
Sent 12:27 PM

idk.
i told him about the other day.
you know what he said?
thanks for tellin me.
that's it.
wtf am i supposed to do with him, he dont even seem to care about THAT!
12:34 PM

... look.
I know this isn't something you wanna hear right now, but, maybe you should.
I've said it before, I'm sure, but you can't do this forever, and it's wearing you pretty thin. Just let go.
Sent 12:45 PM

and nobody can tell me wtf that even means
what the fuck is just letting go? like thats a thing thats easy to do after well over a hundred years with the guy. you dont just let go of that, its not that simple, and i really wish you and rory would stop making it out to be.
idk who the fuck i AM without him gage, damn it
12:46 PM

AND THAT IS EXACTLY MY POINT!
This has gotten SO DAMN BAD you don't know how to function without him! It's SO DAMN BAD, you don't know who you are without him! IT'S SO DAMN BAD, CIARAN, YOU'RE AFRAID TO LET HIM GO.
LISTEN to me, damn it, this isn't right, it isn't healthy, and are you damn fucking sure he actually needs you because from where I'm sitting he's a manipulative mother fucker that convinced you he does, doesn't, and now it's you that needs him, because he fucked you up so goddamn bad you don't know how to breathe if he's not telling you!
LET. HIM. GO.
Sent 12:48 PM

gage, stop it.
youre making a big deal out of somethin that aint a big deal.
stop it.
12:52 PM

No.
You cried over this, that's not nothing. This is hurting you, a lot, and I don't want to make it worse, but fuck if I won't if it means it stops.
You're my friend, and I care about you. If I have to be the bad guy, fine, I will be.
Please, Ciaran. Please walk away from this. It's okay to take a step back and take care of you, and if Iname doesn't understand that, then he doesn't fucking deserve you.
Sent 12:54 PM

gage, there is no deserves or not deserves in shit like this
thats not the right way of lookin at it.
1:03 PM

So you're just going to let him get away with anything, treat you however he wants, ruin any sense of self-esteem you may have anymore, gaslight and play mind games with you, and call it good enough, because of cute little anecdotes you read on the internet somewhere?
There is a damn such thing as deserve or not deserve, and anyone that claims there isn't is a damned fucking manipulative liar, or being manipulated.
Sent 1:04 PM

what
who the hell taught you to relationships?!
and that is not what i said!
1:07 PM

That is exactly what you said. And Sheol did.
If you continually put others first, you teach them that you are second.
And don't give me that cute little he was raised that way bullshit.
All that means is he's incapable of thinking for himself and thinks about the wants of people that AREN'T around anymore and DON'T MATTER instead of YOU. Even CYPRIAN'S not that sideways.
Even if you didn't need the break, maybe he does, because obviously he's missing something and he needs to find it on his own, because clearly you don't have it.
Sent 1:09 PM

why the fuck am i even friends with you
1:10 PM

Because I tell you the truth, even if you don't like it. Maybe because you don't like it.
Sent 1:10 PM

whatever asshole
i dont have the energy for this right now
1:12 PM

That's fine.
But Ciaran.
Think about it, at least. A little more seriously than you have been.
Sent 1:13 PM


3
Communication / That Happened
« on: Jan 09, 2018, 09:19PM »


01
10
PM - Sat Oct 22


Anger is as blind as love








1:10 PM


75%

Kee

the talk with iname happened.
it uh. it went well.
12:19 PM

Is that sarcasm?
I mean, it seems like it'd be sarcasm, but I was hoping for a better outcome so... I gotta ask.
Sent 12:21 PM

welp.
im crashin with rory these days so that ought say somethin I guess. prolly more about my own mental state than how the conversation went, but yanno. apparently he didnt even notice he was doin' anything different. i guess this bodes well for it changing but im not really holding my breath.
12:25 PM

You guys aren't doing something stupid and breaking up, are you?
Sent 12:27 PM

idk.
i told him about the other day.
you know what he said?
thanks for tellin me.
that's it.
wtf am i supposed to do with him, he dont even seem to care about THAT!
12:34 PM

... look.
I know this isn't something you wanna hear right now, but, maybe you should.
I've said it before, I'm sure, but you can't do this forever, and it's wearing you pretty thin. Just let go.
Sent 12:45 PM

and nobody can tell me wtf that even means
what the fuck is just letting go? like thats a thing thats easy to do after well over a hundred years with the guy. you dont just let go of that, its not that simple, and i really wish you and rory would stop making it out to be.
idk who the fuck i AM without him gage, damn it
12:46 PM

AND THAT IS EXACTLY MY POINT!
This has gotten SO DAMN BAD you don't know how to function without him! It's SO DAMN BAD, you don't know who you are without him! IT'S SO DAMN BAD, CIARAN, YOU'RE AFRAID TO LET HIM GO.
LISTEN to me, damn it, this isn't right, it isn't healthy, and are you damn fucking sure he actually needs you because from where I'm sitting he's a manipulative mother fucker that convinced you he does, doesn't, and now it's you that needs him, because he fucked you up so goddamn bad you don't know how to breathe if he's not telling you!
LET. HIM. GO.
Sent 12:48 PM

gage, stop it.
youre making a big deal out of somethin that aint a big deal.
stop it.
12:52 PM

No.
You cried over this, that's not nothing. This is hurting you, a lot, and I don't want to make it worse, but fuck if I won't if it means it stops.
You're my friend, and I care about you. If I have to be the bad guy, fine, I will be.
Please, Ciaran. Please walk away from this. It's okay to take a step back and take care of you, and if Iname doesn't understand that, then he doesn't fucking deserve you.
Sent 12:54 PM

gage, there is no deserves or not deserves in shit like this
thats not the right way of lookin at it.
1:03 PM

So you're just going to let him get away with anything, treat you however he wants, ruin any sense of self-esteem you may have anymore, gaslight and play mind games with you, and call it good enough, because of cute little anecdotes you read on the internet somewhere?
There is a damn such thing as deserve or not deserve, and anyone that claims there isn't is a damned fucking manipulative liar, or being manipulated.
Sent 1:04 PM

what
who the hell taught you to relationships?!
and that is not what i said!
1:07 PM

That is exactly what you said. And Sheol did.
If you continually put others first, you teach them that you are second.
And don't give me that cute little he was raised that way bullshit.
All that means is he's incapable of thinking for himself and thinks about the wants of people that AREN'T around anymore and DON'T MATTER instead of YOU. Even CYPRIAN'S not that sideways.
Even if you didn't need the break, maybe he does, because obviously he's missing something and he needs to find it on his own, because clearly you don't have it.
Sent 1:09 PM

why the fuck am i even friends with you
1:10 PM

Because I tell you the truth, even if you don't like it. Maybe because you don't like it.
Sent 1:10 PM


4
Communication / That Happened
« on: Jan 09, 2018, 09:15PM »


01
09
PM - Sat Oct 22


Anger is as blind as love








1:09 PM


75%

Kee

the talk with iname happened.
it uh. it went well.
12:19 PM

Is that sarcasm?
I mean, it seems like it'd be sarcasm, but I was hoping for a better outcome so... I gotta ask.
Sent 12:21 PM

welp.
im crashin with rory these days so that ought say somethin I guess. prolly more about my own mental state than how the conversation went, but yanno. apparently he didnt even notice he was doin' anything different. i guess this bodes well for it changing but im not really holding my breath.
12:25 PM

You guys aren't doing something stupid and breaking up, are you?
Sent 12:27 PM

idk.
i told him about the other day.
you know what he said?
thanks for tellin me.
that's it.
wtf am i supposed to do with him, he dont even seem to care about THAT!
12:34 PM

... look.
I know this isn't something you wanna hear right now, but, maybe you should.
I've said it before, I'm sure, but you can't do this forever, and it's wearing you pretty thin. Just let go.
Sent 12:45 PM

and nobody can tell me wtf that even means
what the fuck is just letting go? like thats a thing thats easy to do after well over a hundred years with the guy. you dont just let go of that, its not that simple, and i really wish you and rory would stop making it out to be.
idk who the fuck i AM without him gage, damn it
12:46 PM

AND THAT IS EXACTLY MY POINT!
This has gotten SO DAMN BAD you don't know how to function without him! It's SO DAMN BAD, you don't know who you are without him! IT'S SO DAMN BAD, CIARAN, YOU'RE AFRAID TO LET HIM GO.
LISTEN to me, damn it, this isn't right, it isn't healthy, and are you damn fucking sure he actually needs you because from where I'm sitting he's a manipulative mother fucker that convinced you he does, doesn't, and now it's you that needs him, because he fucked you up so goddamn bad you don't know how to breathe if he's not telling you!
LET. HIM. GO.
Sent 12:48 PM

gage, stop it.
youre making a big deal out of somethin that aint a big deal.
stop it.
12:52 PM

No.
You cried over this, that's not nothing. This is hurting you, a lot, and I don't want to make it worse, but fuck if I won't if it means it stops.
You're my friend, and I care about you. If I have to be the bad guy, fine, I will be.
Please, Ciaran. Please walk away from this. It's okay to take a step back and take care of you, and if Iname doesn't understand that, then he doesn't fucking deserve you.
Sent 12:54 PM

gage, there is no deserves or not deserves in shit like this
thats not the right way of lookin at it.
1:03 PM

So you're just going to let him get away with anything, treat you however he wants, ruin any sense of self-esteem you may have anymore, gaslight and play mind games with you, and call it good enough, because of cute little anecdotes you read on the internet somewhere?
There is a damn such thing as deserve or not deserve, and anyone that claims there isn't is a damned fucking manipulative liar, or being manipulated.
Sent 1:04 PM

what
who the hell taught you to relationships?!
and that is not what i said!
1:07 PM

That is exactly what you said. And Sheol did.
If you continually put others first, you teach them that you are second.
And don't give me that cute little he was raised that way bullshit.
All that means is he's incapable of thinking for himself and thinks about the wants of people that AREN'T around anymore and DON'T MATTER instead of YOU. Even CYPRIAN'S not that sideways.
Even if you didn't need the break, maybe he does, because obviously he's missing something and he needs to find it on his own, because clearly you don't have it.
Sent 1:09 PM


5
Communication / That Happened
« on: Jan 09, 2018, 09:05PM »


01
04
PM - Sat Oct 22


Anger is as blind as love








1:04 PM


75%

Kee

the talk with iname happened.
it uh. it went well.
12:19 PM

Is that sarcasm?
I mean, it seems like it'd be sarcasm, but I was hoping for a better outcome so... I gotta ask.
Sent 12:21 PM

welp.
im crashin with rory these days so that ought say somethin I guess. prolly more about my own mental state than how the conversation went, but yanno. apparently he didnt even notice he was doin' anything different. i guess this bodes well for it changing but im not really holding my breath.
12:25 PM

You guys aren't doing something stupid and breaking up, are you?
Sent 12:27 PM

idk.
i told him about the other day.
you know what he said?
thanks for tellin me.
that's it.
wtf am i supposed to do with him, he dont even seem to care about THAT!
12:34 PM

... look.
I know this isn't something you wanna hear right now, but, maybe you should.
I've said it before, I'm sure, but you can't do this forever, and it's wearing you pretty thin. Just let go.
Sent 12:45 PM

and nobody can tell me wtf that even means
what the fuck is just letting go? like thats a thing thats easy to do after well over a hundred years with the guy. you dont just let go of that, its not that simple, and i really wish you and rory would stop making it out to be.
idk who the fuck i AM without him gage, damn it
12:46 PM

AND THAT IS EXACTLY MY POINT!
This has gotten SO DAMN BAD you don't know how to function without him! It's SO DAMN BAD, you don't know who you are without him! IT'S SO DAMN BAD, CIARAN, YOU'RE AFRAID TO LET HIM GO.
LISTEN to me, damn it, this isn't right, it isn't healthy, and are you damn fucking sure he actually needs you because from where I'm sitting he's a manipulative mother fucker that convinced you he does, doesn't, and now it's you that needs him, because he fucked you up so goddamn bad you don't know how to breathe if he's not telling you!
LET. HIM. GO.
Sent 12:48 PM

gage, stop it.
youre making a big deal out of somethin that aint a big deal.
stop it.
12:52 PM

No.
You cried over this, that's not nothing. This is hurting you, a lot, and I don't want to make it worse, but fuck if I won't if it means it stops.
You're my friend, and I care about you. If I have to be the bad guy, fine, I will be.
Please, Ciaran. Please walk away from this. It's okay to take a step back and take care of you, and if Iname doesn't understand that, then he doesn't fucking deserve you.
Sent 12:54 PM

gage, there is no deserves or not deserves in shit like this
thats not the right way of lookin at it.
1:03 PM

So you're just going to let him get away with anything, treat you however he wants, ruin any sense of self-esteem you may have anymore, gaslight and play mind games with you, and call it good enough, because of cute little anecdotes you read on the internet somewhere?
There is a damn such thing as deserve or not deserve, and anyone that claims there isn't is a damned fucking manipulative liar, or being manipulated.
Sent 1:04 PM


6
Communication / That Happened
« on: Jan 09, 2018, 08:48PM »


12
54
PM - Sat Oct 22


Anger is as blind as love








12:54 PM


75%

Kee

the talk with iname happened.
it uh. it went well.
12:19 PM

Is that sarcasm?
I mean, it seems like it'd be sarcasm, but I was hoping for a better outcome so... I gotta ask.
Sent 12:21 PM

welp.
im crashin with rory these days so that ought say somethin I guess. prolly more about my own mental state than how the conversation went, but yanno. apparently he didnt even notice he was doin' anything different. i guess this bodes well for it changing but im not really holding my breath.
12:25 PM

You guys aren't doing something stupid and breaking up, are you?
Sent 12:27 PM

idk.
i told him about the other day.
you know what he said?
thanks for tellin me.
that's it.
wtf am i supposed to do with him, he dont even seem to care about THAT!
12:34 PM

... look.
I know this isn't something you wanna hear right now, but, maybe you should.
I've said it before, I'm sure, but you can't do this forever, and it's wearing you pretty thin. Just let go.
Sent 12:45 PM

and nobody can tell me wtf that even means
what the fuck is just letting go? like thats a thing thats easy to do after well over a hundred years with the guy. you dont just let go of that, its not that simple, and i really wish you and rory would stop making it out to be.
idk who the fuck i AM without him gage, damn it
12:46 PM

AND THAT IS EXACTLY MY POINT!
This has gotten SO DAMN BAD you don't know how to function without him! It's SO DAMN BAD, you don't know who you are without him! IT'S SO DAMN BAD, CIARAN, YOU'RE AFRAID TO LET HIM GO.
LISTEN to me, damn it, this isn't right, it isn't healthy, and are you damn fucking sure he actually needs you because from where I'm sitting he's a manipulative mother fucker that convinced you he does, doesn't, and now it's you that needs him, because he fucked you up so goddamn bad you don't know how to breathe if he's not telling you!
LET. HIM. GO.
Sent 12:48 PM

gage, stop it.
youre making a big deal out of somethin that aint a big deal.
stop it.
12:52 PM

No.
You cried over this, that's not nothing. This is hurting you, a lot, and I don't want to make it worse, but fuck if I won't if it means it stops.
You're my friend, and I care about you. If I have to be the bad guy, fine, I will be.
Please, Ciaran. Please walk away from this. It's okay to take a step back and take care of you, and if Iname doesn't understand that, then he doesn't fucking deserve you.
Sent 12:54 PM


7
Communication / That Happened
« on: Jan 09, 2018, 08:35PM »


12
48
PM - Sat Oct 22


Anger is as blind as love








12:48 PM


75%

Kee

the talk with iname happened.
it uh. it went well.
12:19 PM

Is that sarcasm?
I mean, it seems like it'd be sarcasm, but I was hoping for a better outcome so... I gotta ask.
Sent 12:21 PM

welp.
im crashin with rory these days so that ought say somethin I guess. prolly more about my own mental state than how the conversation went, but yanno. apparently he didnt even notice he was doin' anything different. i guess this bodes well for it changing but im not really holding my breath.
12:25 PM

You guys aren't doing something stupid and breaking up, are you?
Sent 12:27 PM

idk.
i told him about the other day.
you know what he said?
thanks for tellin me.
that's it.
wtf am i supposed to do with him, he dont even seem to care about THAT!
12:34 PM

... look.
I know this isn't something you wanna hear right now, but, maybe you should.
I've said it before, I'm sure, but you can't do this forever, and it's wearing you pretty thin. Just let go.
Sent 12:45 PM

and nobody can tell me wtf that even means
what the fuck is just letting go? like thats a thing thats easy to do after well over a hundred years with the guy. you dont just let go of that, its not that simple, and i really wish you and rory would stop making it out to be.
idk who the fuck i AM without him gage, damn it
12:46 PM

AND THAT IS EXACTLY MY POINT!
This has gotten SO DAMN BAD you don't know how to function without him! It's SO DAMN BAD, you don't know who you are without him! IT'S SO DAMN BAD, CIARAN, YOU'RE AFRAID TO LET HIM GO.
LISTEN to me, damn it, this isn't right, it isn't healthy, and are you damn fucking sure he actually needs you because from where I'm sitting he's a manipulative mother fucker that convinced you he does, doesn't, and now it's you that needs him, because he fucked you up so goddamn bad you don't know how to breathe if he's not telling you!
LET. HIM. GO.
Sent 12:48 PM


8
Communication / That Happened
« on: Jan 09, 2018, 08:26PM »


12
45
PM - Sat Oct 22


Anger is as blind as love








12:45 PM


75%

Kee

the talk with iname happened.
it uh. it went well.
12:19 PM

Is that sarcasm?
I mean, it seems like it'd be sarcasm, but I was hoping for a better outcome so... I gotta ask.
Sent 12:21 PM

welp.
im crashin with rory these days so that ought say somethin I guess. prolly more about my own mental state than how the conversation went, but yanno. apparently he didnt even notice he was doin' anything different. i guess this bodes well for it changing but im not really holding my breath.
12:25 PM

You guys aren't doing something stupid and breaking up, are you?
Sent 12:27 PM

idk.
i told him about the other day.
you know what he said?
thanks for tellin me.
that's it.
wtf am i supposed to do with him, he dont even seem to care about THAT!
12:34 PM

... look.
I know this isn't something you wanna hear right now, but, maybe you should.
I've said it before, I'm sure, but you can't do this forever, and it's wearing you pretty thin. Just let go.
Sent 12:45 PM


9
Communication / That Happened
« on: Jan 09, 2018, 08:09PM »


12
27
PM - Sat Oct 22


Anger is as blind as love








12:27 PM


75%

Kee

the talk with iname happened.
it uh. it went well.
12:19 PM

Is that sarcasm?
I mean, it seems like it'd be sarcasm, but I was hoping for a better outcome so... I gotta ask.
Sent 12:21 PM

welp.
im crashin with rory these days so that ought say somethin I guess. prolly more about my own mental state than how the conversation went, but yanno. apparently he didnt even notice he was doin' anything different. i guess this bodes well for it changing but im not really holding my breath.
12:25 PM

You guys aren't doing something stupid and breaking up, are you?
Sent 12:27 PM


10
Communication / That Happened
« on: Jan 09, 2018, 06:23PM »


12
21
PM - Sat Oct 22


Anger is as blind as love








12:21 PM


75%

Kee

the talk with iname happened.
it uh. it went well.
12:19 PM


Is that sarcasm?

I mean, it seems like it'd be sarcasm, but I was hoping for a better outcome so... I gotta ask.

Sent 12:21 PM



11
Soder-Vaster / Obligatory Socialising
« on: Oct 28, 2017, 11:51PM »
That wasn't - ... well, maybe it was a point, but it wasn't really the angle Gage was looking at it from. It wouldn't really hurt to let him, if he wanted to help, but that wasn't really the idea. ... then again, it was about both of them, not just him, so maybe he should just, go with it. If it made Cyprian feel better, then it was something Gage could live with, right? Yeah. He'd just go with it, and that decided in his head, he just gave a small lopsided smile Cyprian probably wouldn't see. Besides, he couldn't really afford to do this more than once every few years, unless he wanted to stop having hobbies. And he didn't. He loved Cyprian and all, but not that much, and something told him Cyprian would be relatively displeased if he ended up incapable of doing things he wanted to just for this.

Yes, a little awkward, it'd be that much. Gage just huffed in amusement. "Awkward is a word," he said. Gage really didn't mind, but you know, public displays of affection, sometimes they went really well, sometimes they didn't. He and Cyprian had never really had that discussion, anyway, mostly because Gage didn't touch him unless Cyprian said it was okay. It wasn't like Cyprian made a habit of randomly outing with permission - Gage usually had to ask for that, but, he was a lot more mentally present than he used to be. Maybe that'd change, maybe not. Either way, Gage was still going to ask. ... god, when did he turn into a love-struck kitten, anyway? A very whipped love-struck kitten.

Only for two people. Which was funny, because Gage was normally not the type to bow like this. Then again, neither of those two people he bent for had asked him to, and that was probably why he did.

Cyprian let go, and Gage did, too. Rather begrudgingly, but he wouldn't tell Cyprian that. Gage hadn't realised how much he wanted to hold him until he did. He'd just hope he could keep resisting that, because it wasn't about him and what he wanted, it was about Cyprian's comfort levels, and if he wasn't comfortable with Gage touching him, then, he wouldn't touch him. "No, I get it, I'm not upset about that," Gage said. "I mean, this is a nice restaurant and I do want us to stay one night, but, this is about us both, right? Whatever you want. I just sort of came up with something because I didn't have any preferences from you to work with." And now he did. Gage didn't mind changing his plans, if it was something Cyprian wanted. Besides, it wasn't like what Cyprian wanted was something Gage didn't.

Right, his tea. Ah... reaching over, taking the cup, and downing about half of it in one go. "Alright, now we can go," he decided. Half was better than none, and it was a rather small amount left, anyway. He did have to stop by - standing, then, tossing a couple notes on the table for the server, and then heading to the front desk to pay for their drinks. The hostess looked more amused than anything, and really, Gage kind of was, too. He was more glad Cyprian had told him what he wanted. That he was here enough to want something, even. Things would still be difficult, he was sure. They wouldn't magically get better, because Cyprian would still have days he wasn't all there in his head, or he was someone else, but, maybe it'd get a little easier, after this.

12
Soder-Vaster / Obligatory Socialising
« on: Oct 25, 2017, 12:20AM »
He'd have to take Cyprian's word for it. It wasn't like Gage knew any better, because really, he didn't. Sometimes he faulted himself that, being unable to read Cyprian's mind, because he should be accustomed to his unspoken tells much better by this point. Enough to make heads or tails of what was going through his head. Admittedly, this was new, so perhaps he did have an excuse, of a form, even if he didn't feel like being nice enough to himself to accept it. He was probably just being unfair to himself in this situation, and should probably just knock that off. Later, he could be unfair to himself later, but right now, Cyprian seemed to be having a minor melt-down on him, and they couldn't the both of them freak out at once. ... well, they could, but that wouldn't be very productive.

Instead of answering, Cyprian decided to hug him. Gage could deal with that, shifting a bit so he didn't need to use the table to stay upright, and loosely wrapped his arms around Cyprian. He was waiting, for the most part. Eventually, either Cyprian would go back to what they were doing, or he'd decide he was done. Either way, Gage didn't terribly mind. It was whatever Cyprian wanted. He'd sat through their entire one year anniversary, probably only half there in his head, but he'd still done it, and Gage could do whatever Cyprian wanted for their two year. That sounded fair to him. And maybe for their three year, they'd do something they both wanted to do. ... if Gage lasted three years, but he seemed to be doing well, and the odds were in his favour.

Can they go - ... Gage wasn't expecting that. Wait. He probably looked like someone had just smacked him in the face with a two by four, because that wasn't - Cyprian had just said he wanted something. Sort of, at least, it was kind of roundabout and indirect, but it was there all the same. "I wasn't going to let you help pay for it, you know," he said first. "I mean, I dragged you out here, right?" It didn't seem fair to drag him off somewhere, and then let him pay for it, even if they split the bill.

"If we were going anywhere, though... you'd um. You'd have to let go. ... I can carry you out, but I don't think you want me to." Cyprian didn't seem the type that'd take that very well. He did feel a bit bad for skipping out already, but at least they hadn't ordered anything yet. Except Cyprian's bottle of wine and his tea, and he could probably down at least half of that before they left. Or he could leave it for whichever server decided they wanted it - it was just going to be thrown out, anyway, most likely. Sanitation regulations and all of that.

13
Soder-Vaster / Obligatory Socialising
« on: Oct 22, 2017, 09:17PM »
Well, the gears in his head seemed to be turning, at least. It was a good start, boded kind of well. Cyprian still seemed a bit confused, but it was the sort of confusion that was more because he didn't really understand the core concept, not the words. At some point, Gage had started being able to tell the two apart, and it was likely a rather good thing, because he didn't try re-explaining the same thing in different words, in situations it wouldn't actually help to reword anything.

Nothing really prepared him for that, though. It took him a second or two, to figure out those were tears, and Cyprian was legitimately crying over there, but once he connected those dots, he sort of froze for another few seconds. What was - how did he do that? What did he do in this situation, he wasn't accustomed to Cyprian doing anything besides staring somewhat blankly, and now he was crying. And why, what'd Gage say? Obviously it was something he said, or maybe it was just something that popped into Cyprian's head because of something Gage said, but either way, it was his fault. Crap. That wasn't what he meant to do.

Naturally, right about then, the server came back with their drinks, setting a wine glass and the wine bottle down, and a cup of tea. "I don't suppose -"
"Ten minutes," Gage interrupted, standing and moving around the table to kneel beside Cyprian's chair.
"Ten minutes," the server repeated, wandering off.
"I'm sorry, what'd I say? I didn't mean to upset you, Cyprian, I'm sorry, really, really sorry, are -" ... that seemed like a stupid question. Are you okay, yeah, he was just fucking peachy. Sure thing. "I'm so sorry. ... can I hug you?" He didn't think just outright hugging him would be a good idea; Cyprian had weird, seemingly random ticks, and Gage didn't want to set him off worse. At least Cyprian wasn't crying hard enough anyone else had noticed, or if they had, they were minding their business.

Shit, shit shit shit, shit, good job Gage, shit, fuck, shit. Shit, apparently he needed to watch his words better, but he really wasn't sure what it was that had set him off. All he'd done was explain what dating was... so it was more likely to be something Cyprian thought of, on his own, perhaps some extrapolation or thinking about something related. That happened, sometimes, Gage was mostly used to that, but it'd never made him cry before, and that wasn't the effect Gage was going for, here. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Good job. Real good goin', you made him cry, fuck.

14
Pham Thanh / Jordan, Gage
« on: Oct 10, 2017, 03:11AM »
Sarcastic, crass, and very loud, it can be awfully hard to like Gage. The good news is, he knows this, and isn't at all surprised when people decide they dislike him more than anything. Fine, you won't be the first, or the last. In any case, being as he's hard to get along with, he honestly probably clashes with most people than anything. He's pretty blunt, not afraid of speaking his mind, whether he's right or wrong, and will usually rather quickly tell you to fuck off. And very much mean it. The thing is, he sounds like he wants to get in a fight with you, but, he's just being honest. The problem with that is, most people can't handle the level of honest that he is, and it tends to lead to conflict more than anything else.

Still, he is a bit calmer than he used to be. Now that he is figuring out how to be a person instead of a weapon, he's not quite as rough-edged as he used to be. He does still speak primarily Sarcasm, instead of English, but in all things, it helps to remember that he means well. He may not always have any luck with that meaning well thing, but he does always mean well. He doesn't ask for permission, or forgiveness, he just does what he thinks is right and deals with the consequences as they come. Gage actually has got a bit of an altruistic streak; it's hard to find, but if you really need somebody, he's there. Maybe with a beer and a sarcastic quip or two, but he's there.

Truth be told about it, he's probably got a lot of internal issues to work out. He knows this, at least to some extent, because he can tell by other people's reactions that his thought processes are a bit off in certain aspects. He's learning, but it's hard to shake off that instinctive seeker mentality, or at least it is for Gage. If he tried a little harder, watched his words and reactions better, maybe it'd be easier, but you know, Gage is a really impulsive guy. He reacts. He doesn't always think, he just reacts. There are very few situations (primarily, it's just people) that can make him think instead of jump his guns, but one thing he'll never do is apologise for who he is. If you don't like him, you know where the door is and how to get the fuck out of his presence, because Gage won't change for you if that's what you think is going to happen. You can't tame the panther. Only the panther tames the panther. Don't mix it up.

Friends
He's not really used to having real friends and honest camaraderie, he's not used to people getting interested in him for who he is, so he'll take care of his friends. And lord have mercy if you fuck with them, because Gage will not.

Now, admittedly, he's very abrasive and sarcastic and hard to deal with, a lot of the time. He's also still learning - there are many bits and pieces of operating like a person instead of a weapon that he has yet to really grasp. The finer nuances of emotion really confuse him still, even now, but he's trying, and if you can be patient with him, eventually, he'll figure it out. He gets better every day, and he is putting in real tangible effort at getting better, so it's not like he's pretending to try and then not trying. It's just, he's slower to grasp new concepts, if you would, sort through the maelstrom that he actually is, and make sense of it all. He's far more likely to react to anything that gets an emotional response with anger, even if that's not what he feels, because he does understand anger.

It's just a matter of being patient and giving him the room to grow.

Enemies
I'm sure he's got plenty, but he is trying not to get into trouble, so I don't think he'll purposely start anything. Honestly, if he had a rival of any kind, he may actually reciprocate this, depending on who it was, he'd actually kind of encourage it.

Lovers
Ah man. Aight, he is bi, leans toward guys, has a thing for several different people and will probably end up in a poly, probably a pretty messy and confusing one. Don't squint too hard. But, he's actually a pretty sweet guy as a lover, albeit unapologetic and blunt about it. He is also relatively possessive but you can have a life, he's not that level of possessive. He just likes to remind his lovers that he really does care, in his very graceless flail-y sort of way. Eh. It's actually getting less graceless these days. It's really hard to question how he really feels about you, because he tells you, all the time, without ever using words.

If you can handle him being poly, you can attempt to get him into another relationship, but remember, organic evolution. Good thing.
Gage Jordan575 | Diablo | French-German | Roi JaguarValkyrie Twelfth Division | Jade Tigers | Shieth Dawnreaver

15
2016 / Strange Days
« on: Sep 25, 2017, 07:38PM »
"Yeah, I thought it was too, when I first got here. Psh, you missed all the fun stuff. Crap's changed a lot since then. Like, a lot-a lot. Some divisions moved around, the Invisors were made, the uniform changed..." To say the least, it was fun trying to get used to the Seireitei in general, and having a lot of stuff change around him while he did. And then it was kind of like, welp. Maybe I should just give up because this is clearly not working out in my favour. He'd learned to anchor to the people, instead of the minute details, and that did him wonders. It was probably something he needed to learn, too.

Fortunately, the Garganta had let out close enough to the main Ichibantai office that it wasn't taking very long to cross the Ichibantai courtyard. Grimmjow just assumed Metella already knew they were coming, because she had a way of knowing pretty much everything. "There's almost always something going on around here. It's nice, but, also not, sometimes. I suppose it'd be less draining if I took those days off I'm supposed to get more often. Unless I'm bothering Cyprian, though, I don't really care much. ... okay, no, I take it back, I did discover I really like wakeboarding and car racing is fun, so I don't work constantly at least." Which was something to be glad for, he guessed.
"Fortunately, because if you were working constantly, you really would go crazy."
... probably.

Oh, look, Sahura. "INEEEE!!" And he, of course, scurried up and hugged Tia. "Ineeee I missed your faaaaace - oh." Blinking at Sosuke. "Well look what the cat dragged in. ... literally apparently, hey Grimmjow."
"I didn't entirely drag him," Grimmjow answered, snorting. "Actually, Tia started it, and then Vreyinth just decided he was coming apparently."
"Huh. Hi, you must be Vreyinth, nice to meet you, I'm Sahura, this idiot's great grandfather."
Vreyinth bent her neck in sort of a bow, careful not to make Sosuke slide off.
"You know you probably started a Captain meeting, right?" He was just saying.
"I doubt it," Grimmjow said. Metella wasn't really known for waffling too much. She made decisions, and if someone had a problem with it, they told her. And she either amended her decision, or stared at them until they shut up. "Maybe just to be like So what the fuck anyway, but really, I'm expecting Metella to just be like Here's a uniform, you have classes to be in."
"... does sound like her." To be fair, it did.

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